TKE Paddle

Freshman year, my buddies and I tended to get pretty blasted (intoxicated).  We looked for any reason to go out and any party to go to.  On Wednesday nights the fraternity TKE always had a party.  To be honest the parties were pretty lame but it was a place for us to drink and potential meet some women!

We started the night out pre-gaming in our dorm room before making the mile walk (yeah we were desperate…) over to the TKE house.  We made the walk pulling our flasks and smoking cigars but always keeping an out for the “popo” as they were quick to bust college students.  We finally had make it to TKE and walked up to the door to have the douche bag door men tell us they were full and to try back in a little bit.

Luckily we had an older friend who only lived a block away, so we went over to his house to continue the pre-game.  We were sitting there slugging on our flasks “bumpin” some Kendrick Lamar for a good hour.  At this point we were all pretty fucked up.

We rallied they boys and it was time to make a second attempt at getting into TKE.  We rolled up and to our surprise we had gotten in.  Apparently a bunch of people had left because there was word that the cops would be showing up shortly but it was just a false alarm.  We mobbed our way into the sketchy dark basement where a DJ was jamming away.  Two of our buddies bought in on the sketchy, potentially roofie filled wop (spiked punch bowl).  One guy would fill the glass walk away and chug it and then pass it on to another buddy.

Slowly the party was picking back up, not in a good way though…  The place was crawling with dudes..  As bad as that was we were all so blasted we were still having fun anyways.

The night went on and we found ourselves up stairs in the main kitchen area of the 50 person frat house.  On the wall was pictures of all the past frat members along with roughly 20 of the frat paddles.  Next thing I know my buddy attempts to rip one of the frat paddles off the wall.  This was “the paddle”, centered amongst all the other ones.  He took a rip at it and the top screw came out but not the bottom as the paddle swayed back and forth upside down.  He quickly grabbed at it again and ripped it out of the wall with out being seen.  Next thing I know, he shoved it down his pants and it was sticking up under neither his shirt.

We booked it to the door as my buddy walked with a stiff leg trying to keep the paddle hidden.  We were out the door!  We had the paddle!  We got to the next block and my buddy pulled it out and held it in the air like it was an Olympic gold medal.  We all rallied and cheered.  It felt as if we just got away with murder.

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What we didn’t know was how special that paddle actually was to the frat…

The following day the word was out and the frat would no longer be having parties until the paddle was found.  The man hunt had begun!

Stay tuned to see how the man hunt unfolded around the college!




I’m not sure if it’s just me or if movies have actually gotten worse over the years, but I can’t remember the last movie that I truly enjoyed. I remember growing up and always watching movies with Chris Farley and Chevy Chase just making the entire theaters laugh, but i’m not sure who is able to do that these days. I’d love if there was some sort of film archive to be able to look through all of the old movie classics, but that may be asking too much. The other thing that blows my mind is the price it is to go see a movie in theaters these days. I remember growing up and going to a theater by my house and paying only one dollar on Tuesdays. Now, if you’re lucky, you’re paying anywhere from $8-$14 to watch a movie in theaters. It doesn’t stop there, because what’s a movie without some popcorn and pop? You can get both of those for about $8 each, so you’re casual night out to the movies is ending up costing you around $40!

If I had to really look back and think about the last movie I watched that I absolutely loved it had to be Chevy Chase: Christmas vacation. It’s become a family classic and we watch it every year during Christmas time.

How come nobody has created some sort of thing like pandora, where they suggest movies to you based on movies you type in? I know that Netflix has something along these lines, but their suggestions are pretty minimal and hardly ever accurate. I just want somewhere/something to suggest some good quality movies to me, whether it’s new movies or old movies, there is nothing better than sitting down with some popcorn and enjoying a solid flick.

Freshman Move In

I had waited for this day all summer, actually my whole life!  I would finally be living on my own, well not on my own, but with two of my best friends from high school.  Freedom at last!  My parents and I loaded up all my stuff into our Jeep and trailer that we towed behind.  A two and  half our drive was all that stood between me and “college life”!

We exited the highway as we neared campus and saw signs directing traffic for freshman move in.  As we got closer to campus there were parties already taking place.  The upper class man were out partying on their front lawn.  Literally every house had one hundred plus people out front drinking beer and holding up vulgar signs.  There were many signs that read something along the lines of “well take your daughters virginity, drop off here”.  My parents where appalled, I was even a bit surprised myself!  I couldn’t imagine being a dad dropping my beautiful innocent daughter off at college and seeing signs like that.  I think I would decide to home school at that very minute.

We sat in traffic for about an hour till we finally made it to the dorms and began to unload.  My two other roommates where already there.  I walked into the dorm and was in disbelief that three of us would be living in this tiny box for the next year of my life.  Little did I know it would be the best year of my life.

My parents and I had brought everything up and my parents just seemed to be lingering around.  I got the feeling they were sad that their first born was moving out.  With hugs and a few tears from my mom they were finally gone!

My two other roommates and I sat there in silence.  We all looked up at one another and couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.  All summer we had talked and planned for this very moment.  My roommate Dave say, “well what do we do now?”  I replied, “lets go get a case of beer and finish setting up out room!”

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We went to the the nearest liquor store and picked up a case of McGolden Light!  We got back to the room and once again could not believe how small it was.  We could not decide on the perfect arrangement to allow us the most space.  We had 3 beds, 3 desks and a tv stand to puzzle together to give us the most optimal space.

All of a sudden I had a bright Idea.  “Lets triple bunk the beds!”  We all looked at each other and were in disbelief.  “That would be hilarious,” said Joe.  So that is what we did.  Stacked all 3 beds on top of each other.  This left one of us with no more than a foot of room between the mattress and the bed above.  With the first day of college off to as epic of a day as it had been we knew that we would have the greatest four years together!

Are limo companies taking advantage of college students?


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The other weekend me and a couple of buddies went downtown Minneapolis to do some bar hopping for a friend’s birthday. Instead of dealing with taxis or ordering an Uber, we decided to get a limo so that we could ride around in style. We all pooled our money together and called up a few places and found the best priced limo for our night. We had ordered the limo to pick us up at 8:00 P.M. from our house and bring us to the heart of downtown. The limo itself was awesome, the feeling of being in a limo is something i’ve never felt before. I felt powerful, I felt in charge, and interestingly enough I felt almost better than everyone who wasn’t in a limo.

We would stay at each bar for about an hour, and our driver (who went by the name of Harris) would be waiting outside our bar at the end of each hour and we would pile in there like a bunch of celebrities. It was hilarious the way people looked at us because it was almost like they believed that we were actually famous! As you can imagine, as each hour went on and each bar we went to, we were getting intoxicated at an exponential rate. I think the fact that we KNEW we had a ride from each bar and a guaranteed safe ride home, it was causing all of us to drink a little bit more than usual.

As the night came down to an end, he picked us up outside the last bar at about 2:05 and we were all pretty drunk. One of our buddies was apparently a little too drunk, and ended up throwing up in the back of the limo. Since our driver couldn’t see us, we did everything we could to clean it up and hide the mess that we created because we didn’t want any extra charges to be added on our already pretty hefty tab. Personally, I thought we did a pretty good job, but apparently that wasn’t the case. When our driver finally arrived at our house, he did what any driver is required to do, and that is to open our door. Before he opened the door we told everyone to act super polite and basically act like nothing happened, but at this point it didn’t even matter. The second he opened up the door he was FURIOUS, because I guess the back of the limo smelled absolutely terrible (which is understandable because throw up smell is in fact pretty distinct). He told us that he’d give us a call tomorrow to discuss in further detail what the consequences may be.

As the next day came around I had a message on my cell phone from the limo company stating that we owed an addition $850 which is absolutely absurd! I think because they knew that we were college students they could take advantage of us, but we literally didn’t have that kind of money to pay, but what college kid would have that kind of money?