Movie Release Party

I recently learned that one of my coworkers is a part time actor.  Made sense to me this guy has the looks, is extremely out going and absolutely hilarious.  Anyway I guess he had been holding out on us and didn’t mention to us about the upcoming film that he was going to be acting in.  Apparently it’s not a big box release movie but was produced by some small time guys from Thailand, it was called “Revenge Of The Good Guys”.  That didn’t matter to me when he asked me if I wanted to roll VIP with him to the release party!

Of course I was all about it!  The release party was scheduled for that coming weekend and was held at a fancy club in downtown.  So I rolled over to James house at 6:00 p.m.  I’m not the wealthiest man in the world but I thought a bottle of Karkov would be a nice gesture to show my gratitude for inviting me along and to celebrate the fact that James was a movie star!  Well not really he was seen in the movie for less than 30 seconds, but I tell you those 30 seconds were the best part of the whole movie!

James told me forget the Karkov we are going to be having bottle service drinking the best liquor you have ever had for the rest of the night!  Shortly after arriving we were picked up by a tricked out party bus crawling with sexy ladies!  Right then I knew this would be the best night of my life!

“All Aboard” yelled the bus driver!  He made an announcement that we would be cruising the city for the next hour before we would be getting dropped off at the party.  Next thing I knew I was approached by a beautiful women who introduced herself and offered to get me a drink.  I thought to myself for a second…  Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Wait, maybe she thinks I’m a movie star!  What ever she thought, that was the confidence I was going to roll with for the rest of the night!

I couldn’t believe it, I was on a bus with about 50 people and it was the best time of my life.  I hadn’t even made it to the real party yet!  The driver got back on the mic and told us to finish your drinks we will be arriving in about five minutes.  I looked at James with the dumbest shit grin and gave him the biggest hug.  I slurred out the side of my mouth, “your my best friend!”  He laughed and said, “just wait buddy.”

Finally we had made it to the real deal and let me tell you it was the “real” deal.  Full on velvet red carpet walk in and photographers everywhere.  Anywhere I turned I saw sexy women, I thought tonight I will find my soulmate.  We were escorted up to our own private area.  It seemed as if James knew everyone we passed.


We entered into the VIP area I felt like a totally boss.  I couldn’t help but be that guy snap chatting all my friends to let them know I was at a movie release party!

The night was a total blast, well from what I remember!  We danced the night away with the hottest girls I had ever seen, drank the nicest liquor I couldn’t afford and had the best night ever.  I couldn’t have been more thankful for my friend James inviting me our for a night like that!

New Reality Show

I work at a liquor store in South Minneapolis.  Between my hilarious coworkers and the ridiculous stuff I see from our customers, I swear our liquor store could make for a really entertaining reality show!  Everyone of my coworkers has their own personality that is hilarious and entertaining, each in their own way.  Our customers on the other hand would be the ones who make the show!

liquor store image

South Minneapolis is considered a rougher area of Minnesota.  Many of our customers are regulars who walk, scooter, drive or bike to our liquor store 1-6 times a day.  Yes, I said 6 times a day!  Appearing more and more drunk every visit.  Sometimes to the point where we are forced to turn them down and tell them to come back when they are sober.

Everyday we catch someone trying to steal.  The funny part is these altercations are usually pretty dull.  The suspect usually always admits and gives it back willingly.   We also never call the cops and only tell the thief to never come back.  Of course that usually doesn’t stop them.  We had one guy come back 4 times and attempt to steal before he finally moved on to another liquor store.

My managers may be the greatest characters of all.  One of them is about 65 years old and has smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for the last 60 years.  He is old school!  My other manager is about 45.  Real nice guy, still hits in 20 year olds!  Both these guys work 60 hours a week.  They nearly live at the liquor store and have for the past 20 years each.  That is probably the reason they no longer have time for anybody’s crap at the store.  The old timer especially is know to blow up on some dumb customer for the littlest of reasons.

If you ever come into the liquor store all you will hear is sports either playing through the radio or TV.  Sports is the biggest talk between coworkers and many or our regular customers.

There is never a dull day at the liquor store.  Whether we are kicking someone out for stealing or being too drunk every day is a curve ball. That is exactly why I think the liquor store could make for a great reality tv show!


Minnesota Rhinoplasty

Spring Jam

Spring Jam is a wild time for students and party fanatics at the University of Minnesota.  Its the final big hoorah before all the students have to buckle down for finals.  Every year it seems to get bigger and crazier.  It always occurs on a Saturday and is an all day event followed by an evening concert.

This year was crazier than any of the past years I had attended.  The event is so big and so well know that I had eight friends come down Friday night to stay the weekend just to party at Spring Jam.  Some of my friends even drove from their own college which was more then three hours away.  I’m not the only one who invites friends to come down and party.  There are nearly 60,000 students at the U of M, and with majority taking part in Spring Jam along with a handful of their friends you can imagine how may people are out and about.

It crazy to think what Spring Jam really is.  Its basically an all day drinking festival where students tend to get more drunk then usual.  There is a special vibe in the air that really gets the liquor flowing!

This year we started out the festivities at my own house with about 20 dudes.  By 8AM I had slammed my first beer and all my buddies had began to arrive over.  By 10AM everybody was fairly wasted hanging out on the front porch drinking and smoking darts.

We had a planned agenda and come 11AM it was time to roll out.  We rallied the troops and made about a mile trek to the opposite side of campus to the Floco Court Yard.  This was a notorious party spot for sporting games but especially Spring Jam.

We got there and the place was already popping!  There had to have been at least 500 people there already and we knew another 500 were sure to be showing up soon.  They had a DJ set up who was blasting great tunes and everybody was vibing out.  The picture below does not even do justice to the madness!

crazy college party

This is where I begin to lose my memory.  The last thing I remember was taking a beer bong filled with two beers.  It’s now 12PM, I had been drinking for 4 hours and was blacked out.

Next thing I know I find myself waking up in a strange room that I did not recognize…  I was so confused as to what happened or where I was.  I had not clue what time it was and came to the conclusion that it must be Sunday morning and I passed out in this person’s room who I have no clue how I met.  I gathered my belongings and made a dash for the front door.  This was when I saw people still raging all over the street.  Which made me even more confused as to how long I had passed out for.

I stumbled back to my house extremely disoriented.  I was happy to see a handful of my friends back at at the crib exhausted and passed out.

You could say that was a wrap on our Spring Jam.  None of my buddies made it to the concert that night as everybody was exhausted or just passed out drunk.  This may not sound like a successful Spring Jam to you but let me tell you, Spring Jam never turns out any different and is still always a blast in my books whether remembered or not!

What is Red Bull Crashed Ice?

The worlds fastest sport on skates.  There is nothing else like it.  Cruising down a bumpy ice track filled with jumps, rollers, bank turns and obstacles to dodge.  Over one hundred thousand fans packed around the track in all areas.  The nerves are racing and the focus is at an all time high as you walk up to your starting gate.  “Riders ready, five second warning,” from the announcer.  That 5 seconds feels longer than ever as you wait for the gate to open in front of you and release the four raging bulls on the track.

Below is a picture of the athletes getting their first look at the track before their first practice run.


The sport of Ice Cross has continued to grow every year.  It started out with four races a year all featured in different countries throughout the world.  As the sport grows bigger and bigger there has been a demand for more races.  This is the first year that the riders have added four additional races to the Red Bull Crashed Ice Tour.  These races are called the Riders Cup.  Theses Red Bull races are million dollar productions.  The athletes know that in order for this sport to grow we must prove that these races can be put on at a low budget.  That is why the riders have joined teams to put on the Rider Cup races at local ski resorts.  It has been a big challenge not having all the equipment and engineering backgrounds that go into creating these huge Red Bull events.  The athletes will spend roughly two weeks putting in twelve hour days designing the track in collaboration with the hills grooming crew who forms the track out of snow first.  After that the firs hoses are brought out to assist in days and nights worth or shooting water on the track.

There are many variables that go into making sure these events will be successful.  The weather being the most important.  Obviously cold weather is a must.  That was a huge struggle for us this year.  We had cold weather everyday up to the event and then the day of the event sunny skies and warm weather moved in.  We were able to get down to the final 32 athletes before having to delay the competition until the sun went down and the temps got cooler.  Its  a great danger to the athlete skating on a warm track.  Ruts and holes begin to form all over the track and when you are cruising at speeds of up to 40 mph, a blade falling in a rut can be an easy way to blow out a knee.

This is the craziest fastest sport on ice and it will be fun to see the growth of the sport throughout the next few years.

TKE Paddle

Freshman year, my buddies and I tended to get pretty blasted (intoxicated).  We looked for any reason to go out and any party to go to.  On Wednesday nights the fraternity TKE always had a party.  To be honest the parties were pretty lame but it was a place for us to drink and potential meet some women!

We started the night out pre-gaming in our dorm room before making the mile walk (yeah we were desperate…) over to the TKE house.  We made the walk pulling our flasks and smoking cigars but always keeping an out for the “popo” as they were quick to bust college students.  We finally had make it to TKE and walked up to the door to have the douche bag door men tell us they were full and to try back in a little bit.

Luckily we had an older friend who only lived a block away, so we went over to his house to continue the pre-game.  We were sitting there slugging on our flasks “bumpin” some Kendrick Lamar for a good hour.  At this point we were all pretty fucked up.

We rallied they boys and it was time to make a second attempt at getting into TKE.  We rolled up and to our surprise we had gotten in.  Apparently a bunch of people had left because there was word that the cops would be showing up shortly but it was just a false alarm.  We mobbed our way into the sketchy dark basement where a DJ was jamming away.  Two of our buddies bought in on the sketchy, potentially roofie filled wop (spiked punch bowl).  One guy would fill the glass walk away and chug it and then pass it on to another buddy.

Slowly the party was picking back up, not in a good way though…  The place was crawling with dudes..  As bad as that was we were all so blasted we were still having fun anyways.

The night went on and we found ourselves up stairs in the main kitchen area of the 50 person frat house.  On the wall was pictures of all the past frat members along with roughly 20 of the frat paddles.  Next thing I know my buddy attempts to rip one of the frat paddles off the wall.  This was “the paddle”, centered amongst all the other ones.  He took a rip at it and the top screw came out but not the bottom as the paddle swayed back and forth upside down.  He quickly grabbed at it again and ripped it out of the wall with out being seen.  Next thing I know, he shoved it down his pants and it was sticking up under neither his shirt.

We booked it to the door as my buddy walked with a stiff leg trying to keep the paddle hidden.  We were out the door!  We had the paddle!  We got to the next block and my buddy pulled it out and held it in the air like it was an Olympic gold medal.  We all rallied and cheered.  It felt as if we just got away with murder.

Screen shot 2015-03-21 at 2.55.45 PM

What we didn’t know was how special that paddle actually was to the frat…

The following day the word was out and the frat would no longer be having parties until the paddle was found.  The man hunt had begun!

Stay tuned to see how the man hunt unfolded around the college!




I’m not sure if it’s just me or if movies have actually gotten worse over the years, but I can’t remember the last movie that I truly enjoyed. I remember growing up and always watching movies with Chris Farley and Chevy Chase just making the entire theaters laugh, but i’m not sure who is able to do that these days. I’d love if there was some sort of film archive to be able to look through all of the old movie classics, but that may be asking too much. The other thing that blows my mind is the price it is to go see a movie in theaters these days. I remember growing up and going to a theater by my house and paying only one dollar on Tuesdays. Now, if you’re lucky, you’re paying anywhere from $8-$14 to watch a movie in theaters. It doesn’t stop there, because what’s a movie without some popcorn and pop? You can get both of those for about $8 each, so you’re casual night out to the movies is ending up costing you around $40!

If I had to really look back and think about the last movie I watched that I absolutely loved it had to be Chevy Chase: Christmas vacation. It’s become a family classic and we watch it every year during Christmas time.

How come nobody has created some sort of thing like pandora, where they suggest movies to you based on movies you type in? I know that Netflix has something along these lines, but their suggestions are pretty minimal and hardly ever accurate. I just want somewhere/something to suggest some good quality movies to me, whether it’s new movies or old movies, there is nothing better than sitting down with some popcorn and enjoying a solid flick.

Freshman Move In

I had waited for this day all summer, actually my whole life!  I would finally be living on my own, well not on my own, but with two of my best friends from high school.  Freedom at last!  My parents and I loaded up all my stuff into our Jeep and trailer that we towed behind.  A two and  half our drive was all that stood between me and “college life”!

We exited the highway as we neared campus and saw signs directing traffic for freshman move in.  As we got closer to campus there were parties already taking place.  The upper class man were out partying on their front lawn.  Literally every house had one hundred plus people out front drinking beer and holding up vulgar signs.  There were many signs that read something along the lines of “well take your daughters virginity, drop off here”.  My parents where appalled, I was even a bit surprised myself!  I couldn’t imagine being a dad dropping my beautiful innocent daughter off at college and seeing signs like that.  I think I would decide to home school at that very minute.

We sat in traffic for about an hour till we finally made it to the dorms and began to unload.  My two other roommates where already there.  I walked into the dorm and was in disbelief that three of us would be living in this tiny box for the next year of my life.  Little did I know it would be the best year of my life.

My parents and I had brought everything up and my parents just seemed to be lingering around.  I got the feeling they were sad that their first born was moving out.  With hugs and a few tears from my mom they were finally gone!

My two other roommates and I sat there in silence.  We all looked up at one another and couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.  All summer we had talked and planned for this very moment.  My roommate Dave say, “well what do we do now?”  I replied, “lets go get a case of beer and finish setting up out room!”

Screen shot 2015-03-03 at 2.50.42 PM

We went to the the nearest liquor store and picked up a case of McGolden Light!  We got back to the room and once again could not believe how small it was.  We could not decide on the perfect arrangement to allow us the most space.  We had 3 beds, 3 desks and a tv stand to puzzle together to give us the most optimal space.

All of a sudden I had a bright Idea.  “Lets triple bunk the beds!”  We all looked at each other and were in disbelief.  “That would be hilarious,” said Joe.  So that is what we did.  Stacked all 3 beds on top of each other.  This left one of us with no more than a foot of room between the mattress and the bed above.  With the first day of college off to as epic of a day as it had been we knew that we would have the greatest four years together!

Are limo companies taking advantage of college students?


Screen Shot 2015-02-18 at 9.14.55 PM

The other weekend me and a couple of buddies went downtown Minneapolis to do some bar hopping for a friend’s birthday. Instead of dealing with taxis or ordering an Uber, we decided to get a limo so that we could ride around in style. We all pooled our money together and called up a few places and found the best priced limo for our night. We had ordered the limo to pick us up at 8:00 P.M. from our house and bring us to the heart of downtown. The limo itself was awesome, the feeling of being in a limo is something i’ve never felt before. I felt powerful, I felt in charge, and interestingly enough I felt almost better than everyone who wasn’t in a limo.

We would stay at each bar for about an hour, and our driver (who went by the name of Harris) would be waiting outside our bar at the end of each hour and we would pile in there like a bunch of celebrities. It was hilarious the way people looked at us because it was almost like they believed that we were actually famous! As you can imagine, as each hour went on and each bar we went to, we were getting intoxicated at an exponential rate. I think the fact that we KNEW we had a ride from each bar and a guaranteed safe ride home, it was causing all of us to drink a little bit more than usual.

As the night came down to an end, he picked us up outside the last bar at about 2:05 and we were all pretty drunk. One of our buddies was apparently a little too drunk, and ended up throwing up in the back of the limo. Since our driver couldn’t see us, we did everything we could to clean it up and hide the mess that we created because we didn’t want any extra charges to be added on our already pretty hefty tab. Personally, I thought we did a pretty good job, but apparently that wasn’t the case. When our driver finally arrived at our house, he did what any driver is required to do, and that is to open our door. Before he opened the door we told everyone to act super polite and basically act like nothing happened, but at this point it didn’t even matter. The second he opened up the door he was FURIOUS, because I guess the back of the limo smelled absolutely terrible (which is understandable because throw up smell is in fact pretty distinct). He told us that he’d give us a call tomorrow to discuss in further detail what the consequences may be.

As the next day came around I had a message on my cell phone from the limo company stating that we owed an addition $850 which is absolutely absurd! I think because they knew that we were college students they could take advantage of us, but we literally didn’t have that kind of money to pay, but what college kid would have that kind of money?